another moral hangover. fuck.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
