remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
In America we eat man semen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize