He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
