got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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