oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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