Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
