this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
