i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize