butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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