I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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