this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
