So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
