dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
