If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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