You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize