Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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