Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
