The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
