he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize