it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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