hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
