that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
