i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They took my balls.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize