he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
