i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
