I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I could fuck to npr.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
