i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize