We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I still have a little drunk in my system
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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