her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
