I wish my penis had an off switch
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
