I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
