If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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