I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
