i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
