Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
