so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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