do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
