so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
