perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
