I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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