Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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