She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
