Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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