if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
