For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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