Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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