Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
