I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
