Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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