there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
