I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
