you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
