threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
