Actions speak louder than pants.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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