Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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