Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
