Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
