Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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