the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
