Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize