Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
