I hate your face
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize