i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize