So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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