we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
