sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize