He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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