u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
