Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize