Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
