She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
