I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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