im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
