I bet he comes in French.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
